Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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