I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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