quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
