im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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