ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
