He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We left the knife in your bed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
