I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
