He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
