Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
