How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
