I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i don't like sucking hair
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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