Can i not drive my cunt home
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She just used a chaser for red wine.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
