She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
