where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
