You can't motorboat a personality
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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