Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
