let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
