Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
