this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
