So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
