Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
