where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
