My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
These tits shall not be calmed
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
