i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
