Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
