We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
