My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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