You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
