So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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