Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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