eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
