She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
