I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
