Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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