I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Randomize
