Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
