Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No subtext here. People are naked.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
