you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
