I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
