Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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