You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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