How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
