i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
