i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
25 ‘Manly’ Things Guys Do That Are Actually Really Annoying
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears