Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap