I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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