We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with