worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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