Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
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But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same