I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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