when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
