I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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