Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
