i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
