I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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