Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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