At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
