What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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