he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
