So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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