what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
its liver damage thursday
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
