Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
