turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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